(Beats ‘Transvestite mounts dog’ big time, baby…!)

It takes all sorts to make the world go round’, is a well-meaning but rather vacuous cliché.

Whatever wiped the dinosaurs off the face of the earth did, I’m afraid, not cause the slightest of wobbles in the earth’s rotation – and it would take more than a few handfuls of Dr. Strangelove specials to make a blind bit of difference too.

Still, it’s a nice sentiment. Very New Testament-ish – and, in a way, a close relation to that famous Matthew quotation, “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

On the other hand, there’s motes and then there’s motes – or, more precisely, moats…:

“A transvestite had sex with a dog in the moat of an English Heritage castle. The cross-dressing man was caught with the animal in the dry moat of King Henry VIII’s Pendennis Castle overlooking Falmouth Bay in Cornwall. The 33-year-old mounted the pet after it chased him out of sight of its woman owner.”

Not exactly a sight for sore eyes, perhaps – and one that could make quite a lot of more Biblically inclined viewers almost nostalgic for those motes & beams.

Happily, a spokesman for English Heritage was soon rustled up to assure the public that this “was a very rare incident.”

Quite – though you can’t help but wonder if this kind of entertainment might not attract more snap-happy sightseers than yet another royal castle.

Yea and verily, the Internet teaches us that humps trump lumps of stone any day of the week, by a billion hits or so.

(And the worst thing: The guy didn't even have the common decency to ASK THE OWNER THIS SIMPLE QUESTION ...)